"Supposedly I was created in gods image. I dont know. youd think god would have a bigger penis than this." — Anthony Myers. "I now stand corrected — there is one gift a woman does not prefer to come in a small package." "When was the last time you saw a size small package of condoms ?" "It would be a mistake to put fluoride in condoms because a cavity is exactly what Im hoping for." — James Knowles. "Any woman that thinks the way to a mans heart is through his stomach is aiming just a little too high." "Men only have two faults: Everything they say and everything they do." "Behind Every Good Man Is An Even Better Woman." "You cant throw him back because he doesnt meet the legal size limit." — Dave Henry, Honeymoon Tip for Brides. "All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. Thats his." — Oscar Wilde. "Knowing what I do now about women, if I could just travel back in time to when I was 16 years old, I bet I would have gotten laid by now." — Ed Smith. "There is so little difference between husbands you might as well keep the first." — Adela Rogers St. John. "Outside every thin woman is a fat man trying to get in." — Katherine Whitehorn. "You can tell a lot about a woman by her hands. For instance if they are placed around your throat, shes probably slightly upset." "Men are like small children. You bring a new one home and the ones already there resent it." "Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they dont generate a lot of interest." "If Adam had had a real hairy back, we probably wouldnt be here today." — Dave Henry.e.